Your children are not your children, they come through you, but they are life itself, wanting to express itself
As parents, yes, of course, we are here to support and guide our children, however, it is up to them to make the choices that determine their lives.
- We cannot be with them every second of the day.
- We can’t be there when someone offers them a drink.
- We can’t be there at school when they feel worthless or degraded by a stray comment. And ...
- We can’t always be there when they experience any of the normal teenage reactions to what is occurring around them: shame, bewilderment, or anxiety.
When they are dealing with all of these pressures, is it any wonder that communicating with them can seem so tough?
But we can learn how to bring back joy and equanimity into our family lives.
We can ensure that no matter what is going on around them, that their home life is safe, secure, and full of smiles and laughter.
Here Are Some Tips That Can Help Us Parent Our Teens:
1. Yes, Be The Parent
Even when faced with moodiness, door slamming, and even lies, it is up to us to rise above this and not indulge in the same behavior.
We can keep it together, and we need to for the sake of our families. That means being calm even when faced with anger, hostility, or apathy.
2. However, Get Their Input
When you are both calm, sit down and talk about a couple of hot-button topics (things like when they are allowed to have the car or curfews).
Then, ask your child what they think is fair.
Come to a compromise on the topic that you are both comfortable with, and then write it down in a contract.
Ask your adolescent what they think the consequences ought to be if they go outside of the contract, and write those consequences down, too.
Everyone needs to have a clear sense of where the boundaries are.
Find More Tips
Kathleen Dwyer-Blair, LCSW, BCD, Director.
My wish for you today is that you are able to get a little bit of that joy back!