Your body is a vehicle of your emotions and a vehicle of feelings and a vehicle of whatever you need to get done in life. And you've got to take care of that vehicle.Eva Longoria
So many of us are shocked when we receive the diagnosis of osteoporosis. We’ve seemingly been healthy, vibrant, and have taken good care of ourselves. We take calcium, we exercise—well, maybe not so much, but still…osteoporosis? All this time we thought this was a disease that older women had to worry about. Not us.
Often when we hear, or read, about osteoporosis it tends to address the cause, effects, treatment and how to help with prevention by building bone density. Instead I want to talk about the emotional and cognitive aspects of this frightening diagnosis.
Osteoporosis, how could it be?
So many of us have a stereotypical view of who develops osteoporosis and who does not. It’s certainly not us. We envision someone who is much older, fragile or frail, bent over, and out of shape. We’re shocked to discover that this is not necessarily true. It’s not only older women who receive this scary and upsetting diagnosis. We might be surprised that we may not even be able to detect someone who has osteoporosis.
This Can’t Happen to Me
For some of us, when we receive this diagnosis we may go into denial, or retreat into a numb place within ourselves. We may move back and forth between feeling deeply upset and denying the diagnosis. We may start obsessing about how only older women have osteoporosis and not vital, funny, intelligent, sexy women.
This, or other, obsessive patterns can deepen the depression and a sense of helplessness. Sometimes the disbelief is around the feeling that this can’t happen to me. Unlike many other diseases, this silent disease often presents with no symptoms and thus no warning. We have no time to emotionally prepare ourselves.
We’re Not Going to be a Victim
For others, after the denial lifts, we rush to fix the issue. We jump into action. We set up an exercise regime that might include walking, yoga, and aerobics. We begin taking calcium and vitamin D. These actions certainly help us to feel as if we can regain control of the body that we might feel has betrayed us somehow. Although these are all very helpful ways of addressing what’s happening, it also helps us to feel less powerless and that we can really do something about this. We’re not a victim.
Then once the new exercise and supplement regime is in place often our frozen feelings begin to thaw. Once we’re doing something about the diagnosis, hopefully feelings start to emerge because the emotions need to be experienced. There is no short cut to feeling the feelings.
Dealing with Our Underlying Feelings
For some of us, however, we need to first identify, and perhaps work through, those feelings of anger, disappointment, and resentment before following through with life changes and pattern shifting. We may experience sadness, anger, fear, resentment, anxiety and depression. There may even be a sense of guilt around this diagnosis.
For more tips dealing with the emotional and cognitive aspects of Osteoporosis, please click on the link below for my complete article.
My wish for you today is that you can find positive opportunities for growth in the challenges in your life.
-Kathleen Dwyer-Blair, LCSW, BCD
Director Nassau Guidance and Counseling