Let today be the day you finally release yourself from the imprisonment of past grudges and anger. Simplify your life. Let go of the poisonous past and live the abundantly beautiful present...Steve Maraboli
Do you know deep within your core that there are things that it’s time to let go of? Old hurts that continue to fester, anger and resentment that refuse to diminish, and beliefs about what others have “done to you”? Perhaps you even feel anger, guilt, shame or sadness regarding your own past, the things that you’ve done to yourself.
We often hear people say to us: “Just let it go.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could? Of course, if it were that simple, we already would have.
But letting go of something we have been holding onto isn’t easy. Because letting go is a process, not a single action.
And the first step in the process is the awareness that it is in our highest good to let go. Oftentimes:
- We hold onto those resentments, angers, and frustrations because we believe that it’s up to the other person to acknowledge or apologize for whatever they’ve “done to us”.
- We want someone else to take responsibility for the thing(s) that happened in the past, or to change their current behavior in order for us to be okay with ourselves.
Part of letting go is:
- Taking responsibility for working through our wounds and living a life that we want to live.
- And once we can take that step, we can see that regardless of whether the other person ever apologizes or even acknowledges our hurt, we can be the person that we want to be, without them even needing to change or to apologize.
It is up to us and in our own highest good to let go of that hurt, anger, or belief system. After all:
- Our anger or hurt isn’t going to force someone else to change their behavior patterns, and only ends up hurting us.
- Ever tried telling someone “You need to change”? How well did it work?
- So when we open the ways for new belief patterns to emerge, we serve our highest good.
The beliefs beneath the beliefs:
There may possibly be a part of you that believes that you do not deserve to:
- Live in a different way.
- Be truly happy.
This may sound silly or illogical to you, yet is it possible that on some unconscious level you don’t believe that you deserve all good things?
Is it not uncommon that some of the negative messages that we received in childhood might have set the stage for our feelings of “less than, not enough, not deserving, not smart / beautiful / kind / rich enough”, and those feelings hold us back from being truly happy.
Our pasts are the most challenging things to let go of. Whether it is because there was trauma in our childhood left unaddressed or unresolved issues from a relationship ending, or simply things that we have done that we continue to regret, the past exerts a powerful pull on most people’s lives.
Often letting go of the past will require therapy, however there are steps that you can take right now in order to recognize and release old stories and patterns of belief.
Find ways to see these patterns of belief here.
My wish for you today is that you are able to see the past hurts and anger as something that can be released.
Kathleen Dwyer Blair, LCSW, BCD, Director, Nassau Guidance and Counseling.