The depressing divorce rate in New York today is enough to make many soon-to-be-wed couples feel a little cold in the feet. When fifty percent of all marriages fail, the prospect of walking down that aisle becomes even more intimidating. Now might be the best time to consider couples counseling. Research shows that couples benefit significantly from premarital counseling. Below are some of the reasons why.
1. Set Out On Your Journey Together With The Same Expectations
Do you know your husband-to-be's thoughts on family? What about your fiancée's career goals? It's important to discuss practical matters like this before the big day. Therapy can offer a constructive environment to discuss your expectations, such as the number of kids you'd like, where you'd like to live, what your religious beliefs are, what your future goals are - and most importantly, where you both fit into these expectations. Exploring these plans now can avoid some serious heartache later, when you find that your partner's dream of traveling Europe conflicts with your goal of starting a family after the honeymoon.
2. Improve Your Communication - Immediately
Communication issues are one of the top reasons that married couples seek therapy. After years and years of marriage, however, learning to communicate effectively can start to feel impossible. Even though a qualified therapist might be able to help, many couples are resistant to seek help until it's too late. Taking preventative measures toward managing the health of your relationship is an important step to ensuring its longevity.
3. Break Destructive Patterns Before They Become Too Ingrained
We are creatures of habit. When destructive patterns begin to form, it becomes difficult to break them once we're set in our ways. As time goes on, however, these cycles rarely disappear; if anything, they only strengthen. Breaking the cycle early helps prevent major breakdowns in trust, communication, affection, and intimacy later on down the road.
4. Air Out The Skeletons In Your Closets Of Your Mind
Those secrets you're too ashamed or anxious to share have a curious way of sneaking up when you least expect it. Intimacy has a funny way of dredging up our demons. Sometimes, it's best to get them out in the open and deal with them directly, before they lead us into cycles that are often hard to break. A counselor can help foster a safe environment for facing these past experiences and making sure that they don't interfere with your future.
5. Take A Close Look At Why You're Getting Married
Sure, therapy can be hard work - but it's not all doom and gloom. Taking a close look at your relationship means you get to see what makes it so wonderful. When you unearth all the patterns, conflicts, and miscommunications, you expose the foundation that lay underneath - the love, trust, commitment, and friendship that made you decide to take this leap in the first place.