Making the decision to enter into couples or marriage counseling is often a difficult one. Many couples may feel that they don’t need therapy – or, conversely, that they’re too far gone for therapy to make a difference. Yet ...
... Whether you’re at the breaking point, or just starting to notice rifts in your relationship, couples therapy may be able to bring you closer together again.
Studies show that couples therapy can help, and that seventy-five percent of couples in therapy stay together – and more than 50% show significant improvement. [You can check out the study here.] To see if you might benefit from couples therapy, take our quiz below.
Answer Yes Or No To Each Question Below:
__ Are your arguments getting you nowhere?
One of the biggest complaints many couples have is that their arguments are unproductive, leaving both partners feelings angry, frustrated, and unresolved. Working with a marriage or couples counselor can help you develop conflict management skills, and learn to argue in a productive way.
__ Do you feel like you and your partner have a hard time communicating?
Some conversations just feel like they’re going in circles. If you or your partner feels like one of you just won’t open up, is reluctant to talk about certain issues that are important, or seems to be speaking in an entirely different language, it may be time for some outside help. A psychologist can help you develop new tools for communication.
__ Do you feel as if your needs are not being met?
In today’s world, many of us expect our relationships to offer us mutual satisfaction of our emotional needs. However, for some, it can be difficult to express those needs; and even if you have no problem expressing them, it may be hard for your partner to address them. If you or your partner are longing for more emotional satisfaction, seeking couples therapy or marriage counseling may help.
__ Do you miss the days when giving to each other came easily?
Remember those early days of dating, when you’d go to the supermarket and think: “Oh, she’d love those chocolates!” or “I bet he’d really like this band”? Early on in relationships, it’s easier to be sweet and kind. As life goes on, however, we can find ourselves stuck in the pattern of not showing our loved ones just how much we care. Therapy can help you rediscover the joys of these little kindnesses.
__ Are you dissatisfied with your sex life?
Sex is important in most adult relationships. However, many people were raised in an environment or society where communicating openly about sex was considered taboo. If you’re not happy with the amount of sex, the kind of sex, or how much you do/don’t want it, therapy can help. If you come from a background of sexual abuse or feel shame in connection to sex, working with a therapist can help you share your feelings and fears with your partner in a safe, healthy environment.
__ Is affection hard to come by these days?
How often do you say, “I love you?” How often do you hold hands, or compliment each other, or cuddle before bed? When other tensions begin building in a relationship, it’s easy to shrug off affection, but every relationship needs it to grow. Often, when acts of affection become less common, there are other issues at play, such as underlying resentment that a couple therapist can help you both explore.
__ Are your lives very stressful because of a major life change or other outside factors?
A birth, death, illness, job loss, career change, move, or other big transitions can throw your relationship for a loop. Even daily stresses such as parenting, working, or caring for an elderly parent can add tension to a relationship. With the help of a psychologist, you and your partner can learn ways to deal with stress so that it doesn’t put as much strain on you – or your relationship.
__ Is infidelity an issue?
Rebuilding trust after a partner cheats can be very difficult. Often, it’s hard to regain that trust alone. A therapist can help you and your partner sort through the infidelity and the issues that lead up to it so that you can both move forward with your relationship.
__ Do you feel generally okay with the relationship – but want to revive that loving feeling?
Sometimes, relationships just fizzle. With all the other stress we deal with, it can be too easy sometimes to put off maintenance on our relationships. Therapy can be the tune-up your relationship needs.
Making Sense of the Quiz Results For You
If you answered yes to any (or all) of these questions, you may be able to benefit from couples counseling.
You don’t need to be at the end of your rope to consider therapy; many couples benefit from addressing their issues before they can become any more severe.
If you have reached a breaking point, hold on – give us a call today at (516) 221-9494 to be matched with one of our couples specialists who can help you get your relationship back on track today.
Please share your results with us in the comment section below.