Sometimes, what we know - or can learn - can make a remarkable difference to the outcome of many situations, that we may find ourselves in amid our complex and rapidly changing world. We explore topics about therapy, the Internet, social media, life choices, friendship, and more.
When you hear the phrase, “It is what it is,” do you feel relaxed? Do you feel like screaming? Or do you go into an apathetic or complacent place? More and more we are hearing others, and ourselves, saying, “It is what it is.” What exactly does this mean? It means different things to different people and it means different things depending on the situation or where we may be in a given moment. Determining what the phrase means to us can allow us to learn a lot about ourselves.
We often talk about the unconditional love that we receive from dogs. Instead let’s talk about how dogs can help us to discover and connect with who we truly are. Dogs have so much to teach us if we allow ourselves to learn from them. Their pure light and love is palpable. They are incredible beings who do not judge or criticize, they just love who and how we are. No questions, no expectations, they just enjoy being with us in the moment.
Do you find it hard to admit to yourself, or to others, that you made a mistake? Or, when you do make a mistake, do you beat yourself up mercilessly and give yourself no slack for it? Do you judge others who make mistakes and give little space for their humanity?
The reality which none of us like to admit is that all of us make mistakes. If we didn’t, that would mean that we were perfect, and perfectionism does not exist here on earth. We’re all human. Some of us may attempt to strive for perfection, however this is an unrealistic goal.
One of my favorite things to do is to laugh. I just love how it feels to experience that seemingly uncontrollable belly laugh that jars the body and the system and feeds my soul. It doesn’t matter what triggers it.
My laugher could be triggered by:
Jimmy Fallon or Tina Fey
A funny joke a friend tells
My husband’s natural funniness
Something I’ve done unexpectedly that makes me laugh at myself
My dog, Keegan, running around with her squeaky toy shaking her head and booty
Watching a child dancing, or how they bask in the little wonders of the world
It just feels so delicious and there is no better emotional release, at times, than unabashed laughter.
Have you ever found yourself saying to yourself, or to someone else, “Act your age”? What does that mean anyway? Does it mean that if we are a certain age, or have a certain status in “society” that it is not okay to be playful or silly? Does it mean that it’s not okay to spontaneously dance in our living room? Does it mean that if we look great in jeans, or heels, that it’s not okay to wear them because of our age? Does it mean that after a certain age it’s not okay to listen and enjoy current music?
No one has determined an age limit to behaviors we enjoyed in our youth, yet many of us have beliefs, whether they are conscious or unconscious, that at a certain age we need to stop doing some things and think in a different way.
Recently it has been so easy to focus our attention on the negative actions of others and perhaps even feel cynical about people in general as opposed to seeking out the positive in the situation.
There is no doubt that there are mean spirited people in this world and those who don’t seem to care about anyone other than themselves. Yet, in my experience, there are so many really good people who truly care about others and go out of their way to be kind—if you choose to look for them.
We’re not talking about the extreme sort such as terrorists who kill people or someone who is clearly courageous and heroic like Rahman Perkins from the Hoboken train accident a couple of weeks ago. We’re talking about the everyday people who cross our paths.
There are hundreds of reality television shows on today and it seems like everyone is tuning in to watch. Ordinary people, just like you and me, are elevated to celebrity status. The secret thrill of thinking next time, this could be me. We could be lucky enough to receive the next makeover, be the next celebrity, or instantly become a millionaire.
Many of us are inexplicably drawn to these shows. Have you ever considered the reason we might be attracted to watching reality TV? Or examined the type of reality television we watch on a weekly basis?
Lately, pop singer Meghan Trainor has been very vocal about the extreme amount of “Photoshopping” that goes on after photo shoots, and has made a stand that she won’t have her “imperfections” blended away with the magic of digital imagery.
And some of us might be thinking, “Well, so what if they touch up a picture or two? Who cares?”
Have you been trying to find someone with whom you can be vulnerable? A girlfriend or a “bestie” who is open to hearing what is truly happening in your life and the emotions that you’re experiencing? So many of us struggle to find a great friend, someone who won’t judge or criticize us for what we’re thinking, feeling, or doing. After all, you can’t exactly take out a personal ad or go on Match.com for a BFF!
So many of us were raised with the concept or belief system that it is it better to give than to receive. Whether or not we even want to give, whether or not we even have the time to give, we were taught that we should give. Although there is no doubt that giving may sometimes feel wonderful and come from an authentic, heart-centered space, giving simply because we believe that we must is not self-caring.