Are You Able To Say "No"?

Woman in white shirt under cloudy sky face hidden by her long dark hair
Image credit: photo by F on Unsplash.

Being unable to say ‘no’ can make you exhausted, stressed, and irritable.

Auliq Ice.

It takes effort to say ‘no’ when our heart and brains and guts and most important, pride, are yearning to say ‘yes’.

Cole Harmonson.

I could not decide which quote to pick for this post so I chose both.

Do you have trouble saying “no”, even when you want to?

So many people struggle with this. For some, saying “no” feels mean or selfish. For others, saying “no” is scary for fear that they will not be liked or that the other person will be angry with them.

  • Too many people sacrifice their own needs and wellbeing just to avoid saying no.
  • During psychotherapy sessions I commonly hear how uncomfortable it is to say “no” and how often people believe they do not even know how to do so.
  • One does not have to be abrupt when saying it. It could sound something like: I hear that you need me to do this for you, however it is not possible.
  • When someone asks something from you, check in to see if you have the genuine desire to do it, the energy, and the time. If so, it is okay to say “yes”. If not, it is emotionally healthy to say “no”. It is not selfish, it is self-caring.

It is my wish that you say “no” more often. Then notice if you have more energy, time, and feel less stressed. I bet you will!

Kathleen Dwyer-Blair, LCSW, BCD, Director.

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