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Midweek Pick-Me-Up, March 16, 2011

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Be selfish: give a little. 

Confused? A 2003 University of Michigan study shows that generosity improves immune function, mental and physical health, and longevity. While some may find it strange to think of selflessness as a little “selfish,” it’s okay: giving to others can be a gift to yourself.

The benefits of giving are twofold. One, we get to experience the sensitivity, closeness, and warmth that comes from bringing joy to another person. This strengthens our own self-esteem, and makes us feel good about ourselves. The second benefit is that it takes the focus off ourselves. Often, we are so locked into the dialogue we have going with our inner critic that we get stuck looking at ourselves through a negative lens. Giving to others shifts our perspective onto another person, quieting our inner critic and fostering feelings of kindness, fulfillment, and joy.

This week, try little acts of altruism. It doesn’t have to be grand to feel good. Hold the door for someone. Compliment an acquaintance. If you have the time, volunteer at the animal shelter or senior center - and if you don’t, volunteer to let your parter eat the last Oreo. By giving to others, you open yourself up to the joy and satisfaction of knowing that you had a hand in someone else’s happiness - and that’s a gift worth giving. 

Remember, these exercises do not stand in for the help of a licensed professional, and are not intended to be used in place of professional treatment. If you or someone who care about is experiencing a difficult emotional state, Nassau Guidance and Counseling Center can assist you in finding peace.

 

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Arianna Russell
Client Care Consultant

Kathleen Dwyer Blair, LCSW, BCD
Director

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"I have seen my relationship [with my family] become healthier ... When I first called Nassau Guidance and Counseling, I was in the middle of a personal crisis - breaking off a long serious relationship, constantly trying to please others and a paralyzing fear of exams. During the last year, I have learned that I can be happy on my own. My therapist and I explored multiple techniques to help me get over the guilt I felt in ending my relationship and the pain I felt when I thought about what I had lost. Because of therapy, I have seen my relationship [with my family] become healthier as we have learned how to draw up and respect each other’s boundaries. I had gone to an extremely competitive undergraduate college and had been told repeatedly over 4 years that I would never accomplish my goal of becoming a physician. Starting in graduate school, I began to have paralyzing panic attacks the night before an exam. My attacks were becoming more severe as time went on, despite my successfully passing each exam I took. My therapist and I discussed different ways for me to gain my confidence [Not only did I pass my last round of Boards, but my scores went up from the first round, and I am now coaching friends who are facing the same exam this spring]. I still have work to do in becoming that independent, pleasing-herself, confident woman I intend to be but I am well on my way, thanks to the help my therapy sessions have given me. It has been wonderful to have a non-biased observer to bounce ideas off of, to cry to, who is non-judgmental of my decisions and helps me develop techniques to succeed in life."
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