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3 Easy Ways to Tend to Your Relationship

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It's Spring, which means that the flowers are blooming, the grass is growing, and the weather is (slowly) getting warmer and warmer. Soon, those buds that poke their way out of the Earth will be blossoming and growing into a beautiful and full garden. Many people are getting their shears and trowels ready for the season where gardening is at its best. 

Relationships are often likened to a garden. They require attention, nourishment, maintenance, and a little pruning every once in a while to grow. When well taken care of, a relationship can flourish into something beautiful, alive, and rooted in a strong foundation that brings mutual benefit. 

This Spring, take some time to tend to your relationship. Below are three tips to get you started on taking care of your relationship so that this season can be a good one for you and the one you love.

1. Make small, affectionate gestures.

It’s surprisingly easy to overlook your partner when you’re busy with work, school, errands, or other responsibilities. This season, make it a point to do something simple but sweet for your partner every day. Send a mid-afternoon text just to say, “I love you.” Bring home their favorite candy. Offer to cook dinner this time so they can relax. Pick up a silly card. The purpose is to remind your partner that, although life is hectic, they are still in your thoughts. It shows just how important your partner is to you – leaving you both feeling closer and more appreciative of the bond you have. 

2. Talk – and listen. 

Bills. Groceries. The children’s soccer schedules. Bills. The upcoming visit from the in-laws. If these topics (and more like them) seem to be the subject of most of your conversations these days, it might be time to talk  - really talk. Put your responsibilities on the back burner for five minutes. Take the opportunity to really hear your partner – his or her thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be. Listen, and share your own thoughts and feelings in return. Talking this way may spark some of the curiosity you felt during your courtship. It reminds you that you’re not just an effective business partnership running a household – you’re lovers and partners with a unique connection. 

3. Keep “in touch.”

Physical intimacy can work wonders on your relationship. This is not limited to sexual touching; any kind of physical affection, whether it’s holding hands, cuddling, or a shoulder massage, can strengthen the bond between you and the one you love. Often, we’re so exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed, or irritable after a long day that the last thing we want is anyone in our personal space. However, that can begin a cycle that leads to bitterness, resentment, and disconnection. Instead, try reaching out. You may find that, once you get past your initial hesitance, being physically close to your partner may be a nice ending to a busy day.

Relationships are always a work in progress. With the right amount of attention, love, nourishment, and care, you can watch your partnership grow into the kind of relationship you both have been looking for. 

Strengthening or repairing a relationship isn’t quite as simple as gardening. Sometimes, having outside help can be just the thing you and your partner need. Contact us today at (516) 221-9494 to find out more about how one of our couples therapy specialists can help you take that first step toward building your relationship.

 

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Blog Authors and Contributors

Arianna Russell
Client Care Consultant

Kathleen Dwyer Blair, LCSW, BCD
Director

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"I first came to Nassau Guidance & Counseling Center in September of 2009. I had been a patient of Kathleen Dwyer Blair years before and realized I needed her help once again. I had been diagnosed with clinical depression and had been in a two week sustained panic attack. I was unable to eat or sleep. My body was shaking constantly and I was finding it nearly impossible to cope with the everyday demands of a working parent. All this was precipitated by starting a new job. Because of my prior experience with Kathleen, I knew she was the one to help me. In our first session together, she gave me two simple sayings as tools to try and help me reduce the depression and anxiety I was experiencing. Just to tell you how powerful and profound those two simple sayings were; I still use them today, even though I am a very changed and different person than the one who came to her in the beginning. I find Kathleen to be one of the most intelligent, insightful, compassionate and down to earth people I know. She has the ability to help you get to the heart of the problem, but in a very gentle and non-threatening way. I looked forward to our sessions and when I finally "graduated" this past summer, I was amazed at how far I had come. I can truly say that I am now a happy person that looks forward to each and every day. That would not have happened without Kathleen's help, and for that I am eternally grateful. As Clinical Director of the Nassau Guidance & Counseling Centers, I have no doubt whatsoever, that she finds the best Therapists for an individuals needs. I trust Kathleen with my mental health, and so can you."
Laurie H, Port Washington NY
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